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Have you ever felt trapped in a bubble of hopelessness, screaming for a way out? I know I did. Not too long ago, my life seemed like a relentless cycle of despair, lacking the light of self-love. But then, I slowly discovered the keys to the transformative power of loving oneself.
This article delves into those magical keys.
Self Love◾Is your power in motion. It is the foundation of you and your strengths. It is profound regard, care, and acceptance for oneself, surpassing mere self-esteem. It prioritizes well-being and growth, guiding choices toward personal fulfillment.
Confidence is the lens of how you view yourself, and your reality. By textbook definition, Self Confidence is; a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgments.
Now, think of self-confidence as an extension of you. An extension that you must feed to keep alive, well, and, healthy. I discovered the best way to feed my confidence was to indulge in self-love.
Self Love is what boosted my confidence to highs I never knew existed. It took years and its levels to this, but it IS attainable. Here’s how…
01.Think Delicious Thoughts
Think delicious thoughts to create a delicious reality.
How you think WILL determine how you feel and see the world. If you think shitty thoughts, you will have shitty experiences. Our thoughts shape our beliefs, attitudes, and emotions, which, in turn, influence how we behave and interact with others.
Be mindful of the seemingly harmless jokes you make about yourself and the limiting statements you use. Do phrases like “I can’t afford it” or “I’m stupid” sound familiar? Blasphemy!
· Words Are Spells
Words are spells, brought to life by the energy of belief. Repeating anything repeatedly forms beliefs. Consciously spoken, the subconscious makes them real. It knows no jokes, knows no right from wrong, just takes in the words fed to it. Thus, ‘Whether You Think You Can, or Think You Can’t… You’re Right’.
Everything you ingest, you digest, and it becomes a part of you.
Your thoughts affect your mindset.
Your mindset affects your attitude.
Attitude affects your actions and behavior.
Thoughts are powerful, be mindful of yours and the words that you give birth to. Train your thoughts to create positive loving vibrations about yourself, others, and your surroundings.
02. Treat Yourself
Treat ya self, don’t cheat ya self.
One day, years ago, I was in the nail salon debating if I should get a manicure and pedicure, a lady near me yelled, ‘You gotta spoil yourself!’ Her words changed my perspective on self-treatment, and since then, I’ve embraced doing good for myself without guilt. Dressing nicely, pampering myself, traveling, and enjoying life have raised my vibrations and boosted my confidence. Looking good outside reflects the happiness I feel within. Doing things that bring you joy or growth will keep you joyful, confident, and growing.
Treating myself better has elevated my self-love and raised my standards for others. When I prioritize my well-being, it naturally reflects in the way I treat others and what I expect in return. This positive energy creates a strong boundary, making it difficult for anyone to offer less effort, love, or care.
Some may ask. “what about money?” … Money is a mutual exchange of energy, and you must keep the current flowing. I’m not saying, to not spend wisely. I’m saying if you be stingy and hold on to all your money. It will be stingy and hold on to you. Energy flows. Put out to get back. This goes for you too; invest in yourself to get back for yourself.
03. Express Yourself Directly & Truthfully
Closed mouths don’t get fed.
True self-expression is a crucial aspect of confidence and freedom. Embracing your truths eliminates the burden of ‘what if,’ allowing you to walk confidently on your own path. By being in tune with your authentic self, you tap into new levels of energy and power.
True self-expression involves honesty with self and others. When I began learning how to express myself, it began with N.O.
The power of saying ‘No’ without guilt, shame, or embarrassment is liberating. It empowers you to reject unwanted obligations and take control of your life, avoiding overextension. Embracing your right to be selfish allows for growth and authentic self-expression, even if occasional feelings of guilt arise. Prioritizing yourself is essential for maintaining emotional well-being
It takes time but remember, life is a process and it’s not about where you end up, but the journey you travel to arrive.
Begin speaking your truths little by little, unapologetically speaking honestly, even when it hurts, even when you’re alone with your thoughts — keeping it all the way real. Embrace the discomfort, for that’s when it matters most. With each honest expression, you’ll grow more comfortable. Honesty demands respect, setting you free, feeling empowered, and always respected.
04. BOUNDARIES
Boundaries are for you, not for them.
SET! THOSE! BOUNDARIES!
Boundaries make people respect your energy, space, body, mind, and soul. It’s okay to treat people how to teach you. Respectfully.
Some things in life are give and take; you give some to take some; compromise. You have to know when to apply this to life and when not to budge. Boundaries usually prevent you from budging. Setting boundaries and asserting them shows people exactly how you expect to be treated, your limits, and your standards. You assert this by being vocal, expressing yourself truthfully, and not taking any less than what you deserve. You also show assertion when you keep your foot down and let people know, they can either get with it or get lost.
Not a boundary: I don’t like it when you treat me this way, stop.
Boundary: I don’t like when you treat me this way. If it continues, our relationship can not.
The consequence makes the boundary.
05. SET STANDARDS
Raise your standard and the universe will meet you there!
Oh, how I love standards! They are unapologetic acts that elevate self-confidence, taking you straight to the top floor. Standards bring out the best in you, attracting greatness. They differ from boundaries, which set limits. Standards are powerful statements, ideas, goals, or visions that shape and enrich your life.
As your self-confidence grows, so will your standards. They are constantly active and evolve or devolve right along with you.
The reason why I love standards so much is that sometimes no one will understand them but you AND THAT IS TOTALLY OKAY. People may not always like them and might even label you as conceited or judgmental. But, that is okay — standards intimidate those who lack self-belief and strength.
So, get ready, standards send people running!
Your greatest standards are set for you…
Setting high standards for yourself means continually striving for the best. Whether it’s excelling in your workplace, aiming for top grades in school, or simply walking with confidence, standards drive you to do great. The more standards you set and strive to meet, the more you naturally become a person committed to elevation and personal growth.
06. Be Unapologetic
‘It’s harder to dim your light than to shine bright.’
It means to be YOU unleashed. No rules by society, men, women, mothers, her, him, this or that. More precisely, It’s about confidently walking with your head held high, fearlessly making your own rules, questioning everything, and drawing your own conclusions. Your truths become the foundation of your confident stride, and you embrace your uniqueness.
Walk boldly, speak your mind loudly and clearly, and stand up for yourself, even when it’s scary. Taking that leap feels incredibly empowering. Firmly stand on your words, actions, behaviors, ideas, and thoughts, and let your authenticity shine.
07. Treat Others Good
IT FEELS GOOD! and It requires less energy!
Energy is a mutual exchange of vibration. When you send out negative vibes, that puts you on a vibration to receive it back 3 fold (mind, body, and soul). Your subconscious aligns you with whatever energy you are putting out. So, aim to put out good energy, treat people kindly, and have compassion.
Something as small as a smile can warm people’s hearts. I know this firsthand, as smiles have a profound effect on me. They create a chain reaction of good energy, spreading contagiously from one person to another. When someone smiles at me, I can’t help but pass that warmth on to the next bunch of people I encounter. They, in turn, share it with others, creating a beautiful cycle of positivity.
Compassion is a powerful key, not only for building confidence but also for enriching life. Practicing self-compassion allows us to be kind and motivating to ourselves, influencing positive inner dialogue. When extending compassion to others, we learn to look beyond ourselves and embrace open-mindedness, nurturing deeper connections with self and those around us.
As Buddha once said, ‘You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.’ So let’s embark on this journey of self-love together and uncover the beauty of embracing who we truly are
🖤
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